Episode 40- Embracing Leadership and Growth with Ken Joslin

Speaker 1: 0:00

What's going on? Evolve Mastery family, princeton Clark here. I hope you guys are having a beautiful day, week, month, whenever this catches you. If you're not catching the episode when it first goes up, I just want to just say thank you and I send so much love to your lives.

Speaker 1: 0:14

Guys, I have an amazing interview today with my friend, ken Jocelyn, and we had an amazing conversation and we dove into his journey, the wisdom that he's gained and everything that he's been able to create with his life, the relationships that he's built, the way that he's grown, the code that he lives by and so many other things. And I'm really excited. Ken is one of those people who you get around him and you can just feel that he just lives by the strong moral, spiritual, physical code in his life. And he's been such an amazing leader. And I just want to get straight into this podcast.

Speaker 1: 0:50

Ken is the CEO of the Ken Jocelyn team and growth stack drive. He's also a dynamic pastor turned coach real estate powerhouse renowned for hosting the number one faith based entrepreneur conference Create, and steering the as the leader grows podcast. Ken has great stages alongside industry Titans like John Maxwell and Grant Cardone, leading the exclusive GSD elite. Mastermind for top earners. Ken has also closed over 250 million in real estate transactions. His best selling book as the leader grows a test to his expertise, success, prowess, and entrepreneurs turned to Ken for his coaching, focusing on building confidence, gaining clarity and creating community.

Speaker 1: 1:35

This podcast has just been one that I'm just really excited to share with you guys because, as I said, I bring different people on here, who walk different paths, who gained different wisdom, many paths to the same summit, so to speak, in this experience that we call life, and so, without further ado, we're going to go ahead and get and jump right into this conversation. So, sit back, grab some coffee, some popcorn, whatever it is that you want to grab that gets you comfortable, get you in a peaceful state, or, if you're driving, just focus in, mellow in and ride along with us today. Enjoy the show.

Speaker 2: 2:39

Yes, I am, yes, I am. All you know. I want to guess. I am Honey miles up. So, yes, I can. Is it all the same? Yes, I am, yes, I am, yes, I am, it's my life. So I tell me I'm more right than it helps me realize that I'm wealthy, rich in passion, rich in magic.

Speaker 1: 3:02

It's my life. So I tell me I'm more right than it helps me. What's going on? Evolve Mastery family. It's your host, princeton Clark, and, as I said, today I have an amazing guest, the amazing Ken Jocelyn, this beautiful soul who has just been impacting lives all over the place, and I could go on and on just about how much I respect and honor him as a servant leader in the space of entrepreneurship, business ownership, leadership, spiritual development, conscious development. I could just go on, guys, but we're going to jump into this segment and, as you guys know, this is for different people from different walks of life, sharing their story, how they're showing up in that space of self mastery, what that looks like for them, their habits, the areas that they've gotten to grow in, and we're going to go ahead and dive into this podcast. Ken, I'm so grateful to have you here today, man, welcome, welcome, welcome.

Speaker 3: 3:54

Dude, honored man, I'm honored to be here. It was great being with you and your crew this week doing leadership development and training. And, man, I just love watching people who have a desire to become the best version of themselves.

Speaker 1: 4:04

Mm, hmm, it was awesome. I appreciate you showing up and I know one of the attendees signed up for your event in Atlanta and you talked about the power of proximity and you just went deep into that, sharing how you made your connections, and it really sparked in people Cause I think a lot of people don't realize the power of proximity and just how that's a secret sauce man.

Speaker 3: 4:23

Yes, Relationships or everything. As a matter of fact, her and I had a zoom call and cause she went through my podcast and she was like, hey, can you connect me with Dr Rob Kelly, can you get? So I literally just picked the phone up and I was like, hey, dr Rob, you need to meet this person. Hey, you need to meet this. And I just literally connected with two people on the spot after our zoom call. That I knew that would be, that would be great relationships for her in what she's doing and what she's trying to accomplish.

Speaker 1: 4:45

Awesome man and you having those great relationships yourself says a lot about you. They say your vibe attracts your tribe man and you have a very discerning spirit and I just honored that about you. But this journey where you are right now, you've created massive levels of success, massive level of connection. But, as we know, the journey doesn't start at the success and I want you to share a little bit of yourself with the audience. Where did that journey of transition into moving towards this start for you? Yeah, a couple.

Speaker 3: 5:14

Probably it was January. The 27th of 2020 is the first time I spoke from for our friend, grant Cardone, down at 10 X headquarters. He had me down. I spoke to the whole team at that time it's about 180 people and then later that day I spoke to all the licensees. They just started the licensee program and I finished up and Jared and Grant were in the back of the room and I get done and I'm walking around the side and Richie was there, because Richie dollars run the licensee program. Then and Jared look at me goes did you really good? He goes. I said dude, I've been on stage for 20 years.

Speaker 3: 5:46

Every Thursday when I pastored, I would go in and preach to an empty auditorium. My team would sit in the back and they'd run the bumper video for the last 10 seconds. I'd get up. Hey, good morning guys. My name is Ken. I'm the lead pastor here at LifeChurch. I just want to welcome you today, man. We're honored that you're again, and I would go through my whole message. My team would sit there and I'd go okay, what was good? Where did it? Where do I need to drill? Only, where did I connect with you and what do I need to leave out. And then every Sunday between my services, I would meet behind stage with my team for about two minutes. Hey, where did I connect with you big time this morning? What do I need to leave out? What do I need to spend more time in? And then we'd go past the camp Boom, boom, great. So Monday's I would listen to or watch my message from Sunday and our good friend Greg Reed and Sharon Lector. They write in the three feet from gold book a 23 year overnight success. Like it's work. Like it's putting in the work.

Speaker 3: 6:43

My big state, my first big stage, 20 plus years ago, was in front of 9,000 people and I had to speak behind John Maxwell. Like, try that out, when you're 32 years old and you're standing on stage in front of 9,000 people and you're going behind John. I've done that this year with my fourth or fifth time I spoke behind John. I joke with him every year at my conference. I'm like I'm never doing that again. You suck all the air out of the room, but the reality of it is it started a long time ago. Like you still wake up and you can command a room. Like it takes time and practice. It's the 10,000 hour deal.

Speaker 3: 7:17

Right, you've got to put in the work, and I think the problem is for a lot of leaders, princeton is we're afraid to put in the work because we don't feel like we're good enough. We'd look at the results. People go I'm going to start a podcast. I'll do results on the phones this week. I want to start a podcast break.

Speaker 3: 7:34

What do you need to know? I don't really have a mic list. I'll send you the whole list. You need to go ahead and order it today on Amazon. You need to start recording next week, but I don't know what I'm doing. Great that's per year, in a perfect position.

Speaker 3: 7:47

Just Jim rowing. My favorite Jim rowing quote says speed increases focus. You just have to take action and as you take action, you're going. Oh okay, I need to tweak this. I need to change this.

Speaker 3: 7:59

The reason that it's hard is because we're in love with the destination and not the journey. Yes, bro, you've been doing this a long time too. You got all that gray beard, just like I do. Minds just a little shorter than yours is why you can't see it as good. But the reality of it is dude, as we both know.

Speaker 3: 8:13

It's about the journey man. It's about the people. It's about being on your call. I got emotional on your call the other day sharing my story about all the relationship. It's about the people that you get to interact with. It's about man, who can I pour into? Who can I help? Every interaction If you're a great leader, every interaction you have with people they should lead that interaction, whether it's the text message, a phone call, a zoom call, a podcast, like we're on today. Whether you're on a stage, whether you're at a Publix or at a restaurant and you're interacting with your server. Every interaction you have as a great leader, people should walk away feeling better about themselves, encouraged, empowered to become the best version of themselves 100%, man, I 100% agree and you're exactly right.

Speaker 1: 9:04

A lot of people this that I was really excited about this podcast because we're speaking to leaders, right, we're speaking to entrepreneurs, we're speaking to those who know that they've been called to manifest something great. And one of my favorite passages is many are called, or all are called, but few are chosen. You know, and when I read the translation, I went deeper into the translation and what it ultimately translates into when you read it at the rawest form, is all are called, but few accept the call of the chosen. We all have the dominion on this plane to create something great, to lead something great, to manifest something great, but are you willing to own your dominion? Are you willing to show up in a way that honors that desired result, in a way that's consistent and committed to the process, putting in, as you said, that 10,000?

Speaker 3: 9:54

hours. I heard a video this morning on Instagram and I've never thought of it this way. I never thought about it. Now. I heard it this morning as a real popped up on my phone I don't remember who it was and they said you say you want with the 1%, have, but are you willing to do with the 99%? Won't do. I was like, oh, that's good, that's good and literally it's so funny.

Speaker 3: 10:16

This year, in between Christmas and New Year's I was homeless. I rent my house's Airbnb and I didn't block it out for Christmas Last minute. Somebody rents my house for the 24th to the 30th. So I'm like, where am I going to go? So I call my buddy, nate, who worked for John Maxwell forever and they just want to best friends in Atlanta, and so I go over the day before Christmas Eve. So this Saturday, nate and his family, I do Christmas with them. I just did Christmas with my daughters on Friday, sunday Christmas Eve, saturday or Monday Christmas, and the rest of the week I'm all by myself. So I've got these giant post-it notes all over Nate's apartment. I'm planning for 2024.

Speaker 3: 10:53

I get a call on Tuesday or Wednesday from Nate's, I get a text from Nate's girlfriend and Yarros texts me. She goes hey, me and Suzy, one of her friends, we want to go to Roaring Social tonight. It's like my favorite speak easy, like at my conference. I do my CEO and speaker dinner there on Friday night, super swanky, super fun, super cool. She goes Will you take us? And I say, sure, I'll take you. And so I picked them up. I drove them down to Roaring Social and we're sitting there having a cocktail, we're just in the band's playing and they're just sitting there having fun. And Nate texts me and he said dude, look out for my girl tonight. And I'm sitting on. I'm sitting and there's hundreds of people in this place and I'm sitting. They have we do so. We do a Lot of events there, so they give me a little VIP space and we got our own little section and we're sitting there and I text him back and said I got you, brother.

Speaker 3: 11:42

And then it hit me. I Said what kind of man trust another man with his girlfriend when he's a thousand miles away, out of town for Christmas? And I was just like it just rose up in me. Like we have a code. Like some of the guys I spend time with have a code you talk about, you talk about self-control and mastery. Self-control is mastery. I Set there for an hour With these girls and then Kevin, another one of our friends, came in, and then a bunch of people they saw, so everybody wants to come Over and spend time and talk with us. And I wrote down I literally I'm in the, I'm there at roaring social in this giant party and I'm on my phone typing notes about what does it look like to live by code? Mmm. A code is a set of standard and principles that is created by, adopted and lived out by a person or a group of people. Mm-hmm. And I wrote this down.

Speaker 3: 12:35

I was gonna think you, dude, I've got all this vision for 2024 and all these amazing things that God's doing. And I'm like, let me a quote me back up just a little bit something I've been saying for over 20 years, because people used to say had you get on stage with John Maxwell and you were 32 years old, had one of the largest youth ministries in America? How'd you get on stage in front of that Me people? How did you travel and do all the things that you did and have your own national youth leadership conference? How did you do all these things? And my reply was always when you act like you belong in the room, you'll get in the room. Yes, when you act like you belong in the room, you'll get in the room. So I'm sitting there at roaring social and I'm like I'm the Agus boss, I'm looking at all this vision God's put in me for 2024. I'm like, and then it hit me can what kind of man do you need to become in order to see these things come to fruition? What kind of man do you need to become in order to for these things to come to fruition? And I wrote down some things I love to share with your audience. Self-control is mastery. I wrote that down. It's long, miss bro.

Speaker 3: 13:40

I if I went into all the things I've been through in the last year. It's been the toughest yet most rewarding year of my life, from losing about a hundred and seventy five K on an event. One of my guys who I thought was my best friend was a Ponzi scheme guy that it got undigot, unveiled by two other very close friends of mine. I found my girlfriend in bed with her ex-boyfriend. I moved 2600 miles of California to be with her. That happened three or four weeks after I was there. It was like dude, literally within 60 days, all three of these things happen and I'm like so Calmness and being steady in my nervous system and understanding how can I stay in control. So I'm thinking through all these things and I wrote down some of these areas I'd love to talk to these about, because this is huge. I love you, want you want you want to accomplish what God's put in you in 2024 become the person that you need to be in order for those things to come to pass.

Speaker 3: 14:37

And I wrote down awareness of my energy Like I've got to be aware of my energy. Where is my energy? It's the first thing that drew me to Grant Cardone. Like him, hating, agree with him, just saying things I love about granted, things I don't like about Grant, but I'm telling you, man, when you get around that cat, he's got more energy. I don't get around people who have more energy than I do, except for Grant. I'm like dude, where do you or this guy come from? But your energy, and your energy comes from the people you spend time with. It comes from the things you consume what am I watching, what am I listening to and who are the people I'm around? And then what you want to talk about awareness in your energy.

Speaker 3: 15:14

What happens when you lose Mmm? What happens when you get punched in the gut? Bro, I'm standing on the porch of my girlfriend's house and she's in bed with another man. How are you going to respond when life literally kicks the wind right out of you? What are you gonna do? How are you gonna respond? Have you done the work and becoming the best version of yourself so you can go? No, I'm in control. My circumstances don't dictate what happens to me. What dictates what happens to me and how I respond is Me and the work that I've done. Mm-hmm, wow.

Speaker 1: 15:57

Anyway, go ahead. That's so big man, it's so huge, and you hit on. We're talking about the fruit of the spirit here that love, that joy, that peace, that meekness, that temperance, that self-control. It's like Jesus a tree by the fruit that it bears. And I always say you are the root to the tree of your life.

Speaker 1: 16:14

And if you don't have that fruit, if you don't know how to love yourself, to create that state of joy, to create that state of peace that surpasses all understanding meaning, it makes no sense. But because of the self-control that you're talking about, when light hits you, you may bend, but you never break. You Understand that the process of bending is just testing your ability to weather the storm, but once that storm passes, you realize just how strong you are. As you are Processing through all of that in this past year because I know this last year it seemed like a lot of people hit a lot of bumps in the road this last year and we're hit by some hurricanes in life and I guess it started around 2020 you know what COVID and all that stuff and you people have really just been up, waking up and Taking control, or trying to take control, as you were navigating that space of time in your life. What were some of the biggest epiphanies that you had that Assisted you as you stepped into your power to own that? I'll tell you what.

Speaker 3: 17:14

I back it up. About a year and a half to two years Before that I walked into my therapist for the first time, just met her names maxine. She's here in Birmingham. I call her. She's a mild version of Medea. She's an older black lady. I walk in the office and she's hey, honey, how you and Jesus doing it, sweet you and Jesus doing okay, how you pray in this spirit this week. Can't have you in Jesus doing which bird, okay, this week. I'm like yes, ma'am, I'm good, it's a, we'll sit down.

Speaker 3: 17:36

The first time I walked into her office I had just ended a 27 year marriage. I'd been divorced. My divorce would just follow. I've been out of the house for about two years. So I was just writing the thick of all the stuff right and she asked me she goes, ken. She goes, tell me, tell me your story.

Speaker 3: 17:52

I says born in Detroit, I was raised in Pontiac. Parents got divorced and I was eight years old, second grade. Mom moved us to Georgia when I was in second grade. From my sixth grade year to my twelfth grade year I moved to my dad's back in Michigan. Six different times, I went to 12 different schools and I went to six different high schools. And she looked at me and she said oh honey, why in the world did you move so many times? I Said, maxine, I didn't have a choice. If I ever got in trouble, my mom would say go, pack a bag. Then I had 24 to 48 hours and I was on a bus, a plane or my dad was on the way to pick me up.

Speaker 3: 18:25

And she's riding in the notebook and she looks at me and she says it's the second aha moment I've ever had in my life. The first was when I gave my life to Christ, august 22nd 1993. She looks at me and she goes Ken, how do you think that affected your relationship with the women in your life? We're supposed to love and protect you. And, bro, I lost it.

Speaker 3: 18:44

Three weeks before that I was in San Francisco with that same girl that I loved this very much. She picked me up at the airport. We were heading north to Santa Rosa. We didn't even make it across the bridge. We had an argument. I got triggered, I made her pull the car over, I got my suitcase out and I left.

Speaker 3: 19:03

And he was a 53 year old man living out the trauma of a 13 year old boy. Except now, you weren't gonna tell me to leave, I was gonna leave on my own before you told me. And I'm telling you. When she said that, dude, it was like, oh my, I was angry. I was, I literally was angry.

Speaker 3: 19:20

I'm like how in the world did I been in ministry? I've been in therapy for years. Therapy is like changing the old in your car. You needed about every five to seventy five hundred miles. It's not when your engine breaks down and I'm like where, how did I miss this?

Speaker 3: 19:34

And so it's been a two-year journey for me of Wow, how can I work on myself, how can I find healing in this trauma? So I got Lorenzala somatic therapists. I worked with Lauren for a year on how to control my central nervous system. So when I hit issues like I did that day on that front porch, I'm like I remember I got her on the phone. I called her five times after he left and she, I said you owe me a conversation.

Speaker 3: 19:58

She goes I can't talk to you, I'm afraid. And I said you don't need to be afraid to me, I'm fine. Like I'm literally, I'm not even. I didn't even get elevated, not one time a year and a half or two years ago. Oh, bro, it got ugly. I didn't even get elevated. Why? Because I knew that I'm in control of everything. The external things that happen around me, the circumstances Don't dictate whether or not I react or whether or not I lose my temper or lose my cool. I Get to decide.

Speaker 3: 20:26

And when you do the work and you do the somatic therapy and you understand, listen, I can walk through trauma in my life, but ultimately, if I do the work, it's like you in the gym, bro, I was talking about you the other day. I looked up one day and I saw you on this on Instagram and I'm like hey, boy got ripped. Like you got jacked. You just didn't. You just didn't wake up one day and all sudden, you had muscles and abs in a six pack.

Speaker 3: 20:49

No, you had to go to the gym and bust your ass right when people didn't even see that, you didn't know you were doing that. You had to go bust your tail. And then, all sudden, one day, you get on Instagram, like I did, and I'm like Bro, look at my dude Preston over here showing out like it takes time. But the but being that self mastery and being aware of your energy and Understanding, I can remain calm no matter what happens. My dude, it's it. You want to talk about control, stoicism, you talk, call it whatever you want to Dude, I've been through the way of the superior man. I read it three times in a row. Two months ago, one of my favorite books back to back.

Speaker 3: 21:30

I was like that 3% man no more. Mr Nice guy that Greg reads me just. But I mean that therapy with two different. They're just really digging in and doing the work so fast forward to in between Christmas and New Year's. I'm sitting in that little VIP area at roaring social in Alpharetta, georgia, and I'm like man what kind of man do I have to become to do all the things that God's put in my heart? So awareness in my energy, awareness in my language. What am I saying? The scripture says the power of life and death are in the tongue. Matthew, chapter 12, says out of the abundance of the heart, the mouse speaks.

Speaker 3: 22:08

I heard John Maxwell say this story. Guys, this is probably been. I've probably heard John say this 20 years ago. He was sharing a story about a professor at Stanford who had palsy and he shook real bad and he had this group of freshmen in his psychology class and he went to get his water and he was shaking so bad because of his palsy he knocked the water off the lectern and it spilled in the floor in this whole row of freshmen Laughing at him because he'd just knocked this water off the floor.

Speaker 3: 22:35

And he looks and I never forget the story, I'll just do it over and over. And John said the professor looked at the, the whole row of Teenagers that are laughing at him and going if you can tell me why that water spilled on the floor, I'll give you an A and you'll never have to come back to my class the rest of the semester. And they're like oh, that's easy, the water spilled on the floor because your hand was shaking and you knocked the glass off and he goes. Nope, he goes. The water spilled on the floor because that's what the glass was full of. And you're gonna get bumped in life, you're gonna get knocked over in life and what's on the inside of you is coming out. And when things get rough, what comes out of you? And I'm telling you, when you walk through moments in life, bro, you're like, no, this is not going to defeat me, the purpose and the plan that God's put on the inside of my heart to make a difference in the world. That I'm able to spend time with guys like John and Erwin McManus and Gary Breckett, all the Brenda Bruchard, all the guys that I have come and speaking our stuff, and that I get to do life with Randy Garn and Vic Keller. I'm like no, the purpose that you put on my life is too big.

Speaker 3: 23:41

So, awareness of my energy, awareness in my language, dr Fred Luskin from Stanford. He did a study 95% of your thoughts today are repeated from yesterday. So what do you need to do to change your thoughts? What modalities? I don't care if it's mirror work, affirmations, whatever it is, I'm literally in orange theory. This morning, bro, burn, I burned 803 calories a day, kicked my tail two and a quarter miles on the treadmill and then just busted my ass on the roller. And then the weight thing. Today I'm a little treadmill running mirror's right in front of me.

Speaker 3: 24:19

Ken Dawson, I love you, ken dude, I love you, bro, I love. I'm speaking to myself. Ken Dawson, you have a millionaire mindset. Ken Dawson, you will live a life where your heart, head relationships are enough. I'm walking through my affirmations. Why? Because it rewires the way my brain thinks.

Speaker 3: 24:35

So when my brain goes, all this ain't you can't do all this stuff you think you can do. Are you kidding me? Are you wanna this is the you wanna start a conference and invite these guys in, but you want Brenda Bishard to stand on stage and go listen? I've been doing this for 15 years. Ken Dawson is the only guy I've came in to do two days with. I'm standing on stage and I'm like dude, thanks, man. I appreciate that. Bro. Like you wanna make an impact and touch the lives of thousands and tens of thousands of entrepreneurs in the country and you better pay.

Speaker 3: 25:03

You gotta pay the price and you said this a minute ago. There's a price that has to be paid. Princeton didn't get ripped by not paying the price and getting up and sitting in the basement playing X-Box, eating Cheetos in his underwear. But he got his ass up and he went to the gym and he busted it and he learned through the process. Okay, this works, this doesn't work. I need to tweak this. I need to do chest and tris more. I need to get laid day in more. I need to switch from this pre-workout to this. Protein works. But it's just all the journey. The joy is in the journey. I heard TD Jakes 22,. No, 25 years ago, one of my first pastors conference. Td Jakes did a message called a place, called there, and he goes. The joy is never there. You think it's. When I get there, everything's gonna be okay. What the hell do you have? It is. You're gonna get there and be like this, is it? Mm-hmm, how's this the journey?

Speaker 1: 26:00

Man. There's a couple things in there that was so rich. There's a couple things in there that really stood out, and just that focus. What are you giving power to? What are you giving your energy to? Tony Robbins always says where your focus goes, your energy flows, energy spirit, it's all the same thing. What are you giving your energy or your spirit to? Because whatever I put my energy into, as a divine creator, that's what I'm going to create more guaranteed.

Speaker 1: 26:28

I always tell people I don't really believe in the law of attraction, because in order for something to be a law, it has to happen consistently. I do, however, and John Asweroff and I were having a conversation about this back when Clubhouse was popular. He said when the book the law of attraction came out and Rhonda Byrne came to their event, all these people that she interviewed for the book were at that event. She sat down and she asked him all the question. He said but there's a huge thing that was missing. He said there's a huge part of the word attraction that didn't get focused on, and that's action. He said in order for something to be a law, it has to happen consecutively. I always believe this. He said so. Therefore, the law of attraction really isn't a law you can attract, but ultimately, the real law is the law of manifestation, and it's where, when I focus my thoughts, like you did, you focused your thoughts on the version of you you must become. You focused your thoughts on the steps that must be taken in order to be the man that you truly desired to be, but where you may not have been aware of where that was necessary. And what that made me think about was when my journey first began. I used to pray this prayer all the time until my spirit spoke to me and said and I'll share. But I used to pray God, take me through whenever hell you got to take me through to make me the man I was created to be, and I was dedicated to it for years, praying that prayer, and then one day, in prayer, meditation, the spirit just spoke to me and said why do you have to go through hell to be the man created to be? Just be it.

Speaker 1: 27:59

But I had to then start conceptualizing, and this is where it comes down to that reverse engineering. I had to look ahead and I had to see that version of Princeton that was working with people like Tony Robbins and that was speaking on stages and that was having healthier relationships. That was filled with that joy, that peace, that self-control that you talked about. And I had to work back and say, how can I show up now as that version of him? Because an apple seed doesn't have to fight to be an apple tree, it already is and so, if I can see it, it's possible. And so I had to focus my energy, my spirit, my soul on being that version of me, just like working out.

Speaker 1: 28:36

And it's a process, like you said, as I'm navigating through that process and I'm lifting the weight every day, you wake up and you're in the weight room of your life. Some people go in and they wanna max out the weight that they see somebody else living, not understanding that it is a process. Stop trying to jump 20 steps ahead and just focus on the weight that you can lift right now and get conditioned and lifting that weight and over time you're going to develop the habits, you're going to develop the new skills. And so, listening to your story and this moment where you're coming to this place, where you have this friend who trusts you because of a code of awareness that you have a standard that you have set for your life up to this point. That has become visible because of the work that you've done.

Speaker 1: 29:20

You now realize, okay, what is it? What is it? And you, literally in the midst of all these people who wanna talk and entertain and have a good time, you were intentional doing the exercise of what version of man do I wanna be? And so that work never stops and man, I'm fired up. Man, I'm fired up over here because and I knew this was gonna be an awesome podcast but as you're navigating through that, because I know there may be some people listening out in podcast land right now or watching this video or replay on some point on social media, and they're saying as I'm developing the self-control, how do I control the things that I feel like I'm losing control of? And I want you to hit on this because I know that a huge part of gaining control it sounds counterproductive initially, but a huge part of gaining control is surrendering the things you can't control and honoring the things you can.

Speaker 3: 30:16

So I love that. Yeah, you have to trust God number one. I can only do what I can do. I'm only responsible for me. I'm not responsible for Princeton. I'm not responsible for anybody else on the planet. Me Like, I have four daughters, 28, just turned 28,. Having my first grandbaby on Monday.

Speaker 1: 30:32

Congratulations 24.

Speaker 3: 30:33

Yeah, I can't wait, bro, I'm gonna pop a can. I'm gonna spoil that baby. I have four daughters and she's a girl, zoey Grace. My daughter's even dead. It's gonna be bad because you're gonna spoil her death. All right, you better believe I am.

Speaker 3: 30:45

My pastor says grandkids are God's reward to you for not killing your kids. I might, so I can't wait. So anyway, but even in my kids my youngest is 15, even though she's five foot 11, she's 15,. I can't make them do what they want. I cannot be in charge or responsible for what they do or what they think. I can help lead them and love them and do the same. Listen, I'm the only person. The guy I save within the mirror brush my teeth within the mirror, as Dave Ramsey says every day is the guy that I'm responsible for, and I have to let go of some things that I cannot control and I have to focus and stay in my lane. You know what's funny?

Speaker 3: 31:25

The third thing in awareness is my focus. Am I aware of my focus? Where am I going? What direction am I traveling in? Where is my time being spent? Listen, the most expensive commodity we have is our time. I can spend money and well, trust me. I can spend money. I can spend money and I can go make more money, but when my time's gone, it's gone forever. I have a limited resource when it comes to time. I only have a certain amount of time left in it 55,. Who knows how long I'm gonna be here? So, dude, I have to live each day, each week, each month and each year Like I may not get another, because I know the purpose and the call that God's put on my life. So where is my focus? Another area of awareness is where my money going, what money I have coming in. What am I spending? Am I aware of what's going on in my financial condition? That's your story with you.

Speaker 3: 32:23

One of my affirmations, my first one I write them down every single day, bro, right here in my planner is I have a millionaire mindset. Dude, I'm in my mastermind. Last August, so a year and a half ago, in Sundance, utah, whole crew there, gary Breck is there, randy Garnes there, everybody I got the whole crew there doing our mastermind with Vic Keller and I took a cold shower and, bro, I'm telling you cold shower in Sundance in August, that water is cold. I probably had to be 35, 40 degrees Cold shower.

Speaker 3: 32:54

I get out and I'm just sitting there and my graphic design guy had texted me earlier the day before he was like the third or fourth of August and he goes hey, man, can you take care of that invoice? I said, dude, I can get to it as quick as I can. I'm sorry, I'm writing them on a mastermind. I'll get an ASAP. I get up, dude, I'm getting dried off and I'm brushing my teeth and I'm in the mirror doing my affirmations.

Speaker 3: 33:13

Ken Johnson, you have a millionaire mindset. Guy goes no, you don't. You don't pay your bills on time. Ooh, I picked my phone up, I opened that invoice and I did. Not only did I pay it, but I put that boy on auto drafts like Instapay Because all I got to do to have the money. I was just busy. And God, the way you pay your bills is the way people are gonna pay you. Hmm, and it was just one of those moments. If I'm not aware of what's going on with my money, it's not gonna come to me If I'm not looking every single day.

Speaker 3: 33:43

I have four color codes for my calendar every day in my Google Blue, green, yellow, red, blue is my personal development time. Anything that's in there when I gotta do my quiet time this morning, when I went to Orange Theory this morning, it's blue. If I go to therapy, it's blue. Green is where I make money Sales and that each individual sales call I have follow up calls. They're all in green Yellow working on the business, not in the business, red when I spend time with people that I love. There better be some green time on that calendar. You better know where your finances are. You better know what your forecast is, what is your budget Like, all the things you need to know and a lot of people. It's amazing. They have no idea and listen. There's a reason you can't gain wealth and be comfortable and listen. Money just gets you freedom. It gets you the opportunity to be able to help people.

Speaker 3: 34:30

I walked into a waffle house. It's been a few years ago. I just started my health journey. Three, three and a half years ago. I walked into a waffle house on a Monday night, played basketball with all my guys David Pollack, john Smoltz, peerless price all my guys on my men's league team. We're all playing basketball till late 11 o'clock and I'm on keto. So I go in and I had scrambled eggs and bacon and I'm eating. There's only I'm the only person in the restaurant Server. I get up to walk, I get up to walk out and the guy brings in these three kids. So I walked through the server and I'm paying my bills. I said were those? Was that your husband? The drop the three kids off. She goes. No, she goes. My husband died last month and all he left me was these three kids.

Speaker 3: 35:05

It was the week before school started and I said I was sitting there. I mean, god said give her whatever you got. And I had $240 and 20s in my pocket. I already paid my bill, already tipped her, I pulled it out and I put it on the table and I fanned it out and the three boys were like in three different locations in the waffle house and I looked at her and I said listen, god sent me here tonight for a reason. He sent me here to let you know. He has not forgotten you and he told me to give you this.

Speaker 3: 35:30

She turned around and she saw that money and she started crying. She said can I give you a hug? I said, if you, let me pray for you. Now I'm there for you again. I'm standing there pressing she's boys come here. Boys, come here. Let me show you what God just did for us.

Speaker 3: 35:41

And I got a elementary age student, a middle school kid, and a kid that went to the same high school I graduated from. He was a freshman, and she brought him in and she said look what God did for us. She goes you have no idea, but I needed money to be able to get school clothes for my kids, and now I'm able to do something for my kids. So finances isn't necessarily about can I buy a watch or a car or a house, or it's a man who can I bless. How can I take what God's giving me and how can I distribute it the way God wants me to distribute it Money. And then the last one, boy. This came straight from David Davis book the Way of Superior man.

Speaker 3: 36:15

Am I aware of my sexual desires? Ooh, son, son, son, son. Am I? What am I looking at? What am I watching? What does that look like? Do I have boundaries when it comes?

Speaker 3: 36:26

And it's not from. It's not from necessarily from the book in the way of the superior man. It's not necessarily. He's got two chapters on ejaculation. You read the book. It's not just about having sex and then ejaculation. It's about. That is the seed that God's put on. That is a reproducible seed on the inside of you, no different than your sexual seed, your financial seed, your relationship seed, your faith seed. Like you got all this power on the inside of you, that God, as a person of faith, god's put inside of me to be able to recreate, because I am a creator, because I'm created in the image of God. Where are my sexual desires? How easy do I give up my sexual desires, man? I read that book, dude. I was like are you freaking, kidding me? So that's one of the areas of my awareness. Am I aware of my sexual desires as a man, as a woman? Do I have control of my sexual desires? Because control and self-control really is when you talk about mastery. That's what it's all about.

Speaker 1: 37:31

I look at, or I listen to, rather to, everything that you're saying right now and it's just dialing something in me and I'm taking a lot from this. I would say I'm an eternal student. I'm an eternal student man and I never stopped learning, because it's in the learning that I gain that self-control. The wiser, more efficient I become, the more creative and responsible I can be with what I create in my life. And to be able to say I completely agree. It's like where is my focus going? Where am I putting my energy into my time? Where am I putting it into my money? Where am I putting it into my relationships? And really understanding that with each of these areas that I get to control because I have responsibility over it, whatever I put into it, there's an ROI that I will receive from it. There is an ROI that I'm gonna receive from it, and so and listen and, Pristin, if you're a person, of faith.

Speaker 3: 38:23

You're gonna be accountable for what you do in these areas. It's not just I'm gonna get an ROI. God has gifted me and he expects me and I will give account. As a believer in Christ, I'm gonna give an account for what I did with what God gave me. So there's a little extra. Okay, I do want to hear Well done, my good and faithful servant.

Speaker 1: 38:45

One day, Living in a way that you are in such a state of awareness and reverence for the responsibility that you have. It carries with it just this deeper level of knowing, and we talk about wanting to hear that when we leave. But isn't it something special that when you're showing up this way, those goosebumps that we get, it's like that little hat on the back or that wink from the spirit saying I see you, I'm proud of you, and I think, especially as men that's something depending on what our relationship was like with our father or our mother we all want to know that somebody's proud of us. So when we find that alignment and spiritually we know man, I could have gone this route. I could have been this type of person, I could have gone down this path and never gotten to this point. I could have completely disregarded my ability to create the life that I want. But because I chose this path, every day I show up and I'm grateful because I know that I'm honoring my life, this valuable sword.

Speaker 1: 39:45

Solomon said life is but a vapor. We're here one moment, gone the next. Going back to what you said, it's just, I have a limited amount of time here and once this moment, this dispensation of time is over. That's it. And I think a lot of the times it's easy to say what tomorrow's not promised. Every day is a gift, but when you embody it, like when you believe it, then and only then does life truly begin to change, because there's a level of urgency. And so I love for the listeners. I know we're coming up on the hour. There's so much that we could dive into here. But for the listeners, if you could share one thing right now that you would really want them to take from this call, what?

Speaker 3: 40:28

would it be? The code is huge. Do you live your life by set of principles that you designed? This is how I'm gonna live.

Speaker 3: 40:36

One of the other ones that I have is I leaned into the uncomfortable immediately. If it's uncomfortable, I do it immediately. Like I remember, I was driving home two weeks ago. We had those like 19 degrees in Birmingham. It was the second day because we were iced over for a day and a half two days. And I'm driving home. I look down at my car and I've got 34 miles to empty and I'm like I'll do it too. Nope, we'll do it right now. It was short time it's got to be working out. I had shorts on and a pullover and it was like 28 or 29 degrees. I'm like, nope, I'm gonna go do it now. And I went and got a guest right there. It's leaning into the uncomfortable immediately.

Speaker 3: 41:10

It's not giving yourself time to talk yourself out of what you know you need to do. You can't procrastinate when you have that kind of a code and you live by that kind of a code. Okay, ken, do you get it right all the time? No, not at all. I don't get it right. But I'm like okay, let's lock it in. If you have a bad moment, don't let it become a bad minute, or don't let a bad minute become a bad hour or a bad day or a bad week or a bad month. We have the power and the catalyst on the inside of us to be able to go okay. Nope, I'm not doing this anymore. I know it's why it's Brenda Brashard Dude. I love Brenda. We spent a ton of time together in the last six months of the year and I love how Brendan talks about habits, like literally, it is when you I walk through all of those things I mentioned earlier in the podcast in a 60 day span. What kept me sane and what kept me locked in and focused was this goals, gratitude, affirmations, top three every morning wins 1%. Better goals than a school board.

Speaker 3: 42:09

Every evening, knowing that I have a solid morning routine, I'm up at four. I grab my phone, I put a worship song on, I put it on my Instagram page, I go to my U version app. I do whatever Bible plan that me and Gary and Randy and Vic and Brian Covey and Brent Gover listening to. I do that. I get done. I screenshot it, I send it to them. I send it to another group of three young guys three young. I'm chillers in the real estate sector. I send it to those three guys and as soon as I get done with that, boom, I'm up, I walk downstairs, I get my pre-workout out of the refrigerator back upstairs, brush my teeth, use the bathroom, get dressed, come into my podcast studio goals, got to the affirmations top three. I'm out the door and I'm at F45, I'm at Planet Fitness, I'm on my Peloton or I'm at Orange Steer by 5 AM, like I. It is boom.

Speaker 3: 42:54

And John says I've heard John Maxwell say it for years show me your daily routine and I'll tell you how successful you're gonna be. So you don't know what to do and you've established, as Brendan would say, a habit and these are my habits and you do the things you need to do to be successful. You will work yourself out of whatever terrible situation you're in eventually. And every time you do, it'll get quicker and quicker in the timeframe for you being stuck get shorter and shorter. And then, princeton also, what it does is when you get stuck, you're like okay, god, what are you trying to show me, dude?

Speaker 3: 43:31

I walked away from that instance in Northern California a few months ago. I learned more about me even than I did her. I was like, dude, you didn't even blow up Like you didn't even get angry. Bro, I'm talking, you ain't. You've never met somebody that got a temper like I had back in the day. I'm just telling you, I grew up in Detroit, bro.

Speaker 3: 43:52

The first listen, the first time I got saved, on August 22nd 1993, baptized next weekend. The following Sunday, which was Labor Day weekend, my pastor asked me to come play basketball at his house. I was terrified. My wife was like why are you? What's wrong? I said I'm going to cuss somebody out, I'm going to beat somebody. I was like I grew up in Detroit, it's what we do and I'll never forget coming home. And she was like, how'd they go? And I was like, ain't, it went great, I didn't drop the F bomb. I don't know that I've cussed since I got saved two weeks ago. God took it immediately out of my life. There is walking away from that moment this summer.

Speaker 3: 44:25

This fall was hey, dude, you're a different man. Like all the work you've been putting in and I've never I did a thing. On Instagram I said don't be surprised when you've done the work, when God puts you in a situation to reveal exactly how much change and how much work you've actually done. Yes, and that's exactly what happened. He revealed to me who she was. She's not party to your future. And it revealed to me dude, you've done the work.

Speaker 3: 44:57

We had an argument like the second or third week. I was there and she got super elevated and raised her voice at me and yelled at me and I'd sit there and I said I'm not doing this, I'm not the man that I was. I thought to her for a year, bro, a year. I didn't talk to her. She called me out of the blue on June, the third A year, and I said I'm not the man that I was when we were together before. It's not who I am and I'll never forget.

Speaker 3: 45:17

When she looked at me, she goes you're not better than me because you don't get angry anymore and you've done and you've spent a lot of money on therapy. And I went you're right, I'm not better than you, but I've done the work and I choose not to react. I'm going to respond and I'll hold space for you if you need me to. I knew right then, like I look at the whole process and I'm like it was God saying can you're a different man. You paid the price, you put the work in and nobody can take that work away from you. Nobody can take away from you who you've become, and it was God's way of revealing to me just her, but me and who I had become because of the work that I had done and the commitment that I had made to myself.

Speaker 1: 46:00

That code, the code. A lot of people say I have faith, I have faith. I never say I have faith. I say I am faithing because now faith is the substance of things, so forth, the evidence of things unseen. So it's every moment that I am showing up in the belief based on the code that I have created, I now bring into fruition the substance and the evidence. That's the work.

Speaker 3: 46:23

Listen, I tell people all the time if you want to, if you're a one million dollar business and you want to be a three million dollar business, it's simple Do what three million dollar businesses do? You're a five million dollar business? You want to be 10, do what 10 million dollars. You want to be a Princeton? You want to be one of these guys? Just do what they do. It's not rocket science, people do.

Speaker 3: 46:42

Listen, I'm not the sharpest guy. I'm not the best looking guy, although my best friend Nate goes. Ken, you're not the best looking guy, I know, but I'll be damned if you're not the most confident. Listen, I'm not the best looking guy. I'm not the smartest guy. I was never the most athletic guy, but I was a guy Everybody wanted on their team because you weren't going to outwork me. It's almost like Kobe Dude.

Speaker 3: 47:03

I've heard so many stories about Jay Williams who played with one of my best friends at Duke. Mark was on that team at Duke. Jay Williams said they went in to do a game in LA. He was playing, I think, for the Nets. They go in, I go in to shoot around early in the morning and Kobe has already worked up a sweat.

Speaker 3: 47:21

He said he's pouring. He goes. I'm getting up shots and I'm thinking to myself I'm going to stay here longer than Kobe. I looked down at him he's still pumping. He goes, hour goes by, hour and a half goes by, two hours go by and I'm like dude, I got to go get some breakfast. He leaves, comes back that night for the game they get waxed by the Lakers and he walks by and he asks Kobe, dude, how long did you stay today? He said long enough for you to know you were beat before you got to the gym tonight. Long enough to know you were beat before you got in the gym tonight.

Speaker 3: 47:51

I was like listen, do the work, find somebody that you. Brandon Dawson calls it mimic model, model, mimic master. I think it's what Brandon called Find somebody, do what they do. You want a morning routine? Dm me, I'll give you my morning routine and my daily routine. I literally dude. I created a planner around my routine and I do. I am. I can't even tell you how ridiculously faithful I am to planning my day out every day. It's, it is the key. It is the key. I've got a quote right here on my desk from David Green, founder of Hobby Lobby If we're not careful, we'll spend our lives building things that just don't matter. And if you get up every day, your workday doesn't start when the alarm clock goes off. Your workday starts the night before. If you go to bed and don't know exactly where your day is going the next day, you're going to wake up and do things that don't get you eventually to fulfilling the purpose that God's put in your heart.

Speaker 1: 48:48

That's a lot, and I can keep going, bro, man, hey man, I look forward. I look forward to it, man. Everything that you're creating, everything that you're bringing to the table for other people to sit down and suck with you, man, because this is the leadership that the world needs more of. It's time out for all the. You know so, influencer coaches, we need real leadership and you've talked about it several times today, john Maxwell he's one of my favorite mentors and that five levels of leadership that he talks about that highest level. The fifth level is that servant leadership, where people don't follow you because it's their job. They don't follow you because of your status. They don't follow you for any of these other reasons. They follow you because they love you. They follow you because, as you would say, you got, you have this code and they can trust it. It's the reason why these people reach these levels and they have the raving fans.

Speaker 3: 49:38

They have the talking. Can I leave your audience with one more thing? 100% Go ahead. My, my daughter's 28, about to have my first grandbaby. On Monday, when she was in kindergarten from the time she was in kindergarten, all four of my dollars I pretty much took him to school. I had my own morning's company back in the day, so I took him to school, I picked him up, I take him to school and I drop him off and I said, baby, tell daddy what servant leaders do. And she'd look at me and she's she's 28 now and super pregnant and she's a bad ass in the gym, bro. She did less like 350 pounds. She's nasty, yes, she's nasty, all four of my daughters are nasty in the gym. And she would look at me as a little five and six year old. She'd say daddy, servant leaders put other people's needs before their own. They do things right the first time and they do things without being asked. And then, every day when I'd pick them up in the afternoon, they'd have to give me one, one of those three. And how did you live that?

Speaker 3: 50:25

Today, a daughter came to Birmingham to go to Hollins College it's one of the top ministry leadership academies in the world and she came here to go to college, she got a job at a brand new Chick-fil-A right around the corner from where I live. Now it's brand new grand opening and she just started slowly getting promoted and promoted and promoted. The owner operator, who owns a couple of Chick-fil-As here in Birmingham, said how in the world do you get all these people on this? She was like the frontline manager. How do you get these people to do it? She's like 10 years old. How do you get these people to do what you want? She said my dad taught me about servant leadership Put other people's needs before your own, do things right the first time and do things without being asked.

Speaker 3: 51:05

I have a picture on my phone. He had her write the little stainless steel area where they slide the nuggets and the tater tots and all the stuff down. In that Chick-fil-A is written three characteristics of a servant leader. He had her write it down in the store right there and she sent me the picture. She said, dad, this is what it looks like. That's what servant leadership looks like and it is as John says. It is the highest level of leadership, and I shared this on your thing the other day. Great leaders want something for people, not from people. It's not about what I can get from you. It's what I can help you get. It goes right into my favorite zig-zagginger club. If I help enough people get what I want, they want, eventually I'm going to get what I want 100%.

Speaker 1: 51:44

BOMBS dropped this entire episode. This is probably one of my favorite episodes, one of my favorite interviews thus far, and I've had some amazing people on here, but it's just a different level, man, and I've literally had chills more times than I've ever had on any interview that I've ever done. So thank you for that, brother. If you guys have been listening to this podcast and again, your vibe attracts your tribe and this inner circle that he has, they say surround yourself with people who are five, 10, 15 steps ahead of you and you'll never stop growing. And so you guys hear the power, you hear the passion, you hear the purpose, you hear the level of leadership and the heart behind Ken, and so reach out to Ken. Ken. What's the best ways for them to reach out to you?

Speaker 3: 52:25

At Ken Jocelyn on Instagram. Super easy, just at Ken Jocelyn K-E-N-J-O-S-L-I-N on Instagram. I'd love to connect with you.

Speaker 1: 52:33

Awesome. Thank you so much for your time, ken, and everyone else out there in podcast land. If you've gotten something out of this I know you have If you've stayed this long reach out to Ken and all of his links. Everything is going to be in the show notes. Thank you, guys, for showing up for you. Thank you for investing your time into this space to receive and to be led into that next version of you Understand. You got to have a code and you got to have self-control. You got to have responsibility over your actions, creating daily habits that are going to move you towards that brighter future that you desire, because you are the light that you have been seeking. But you got to understand that in every dark moment, that light is only being challenged to be illuminated even more. Thank you, guys, for tuning in to the Evolve Mastery podcast and until next time, keep rising, keep shining, keep growing, because this is your life, so make the most of it. And moving forward.